Summer at Blue Lake Part Four: Part One: Session Break Again, Going into Session 3

So session two was finally coming to an end. The last day of the session, as we loving refer to it as "Final Sunday" is usually a pretty easygoing day for the unit directors. The counselors are pretty busy all day, but the UDs for a change finally get an easy day. All we basically have to do is give out morning meds, give meds back to the parents when the show up, and talk to the occasional parent about how their child did during the session. Oh yeah, and wait for all the campers to be checked out. Which requires the parent sign their child out, with their counselor.

Sounds pretty easy, right? I'd think so. And seeing as I was a cabin counselor for two summers, I can say, it is pretty easy. What you should do is be in your cabin for the whole morning and most of the afternoon, remind kids of their warm up times, and wait to greet parents. You say "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Smith, nice to see you again. Jenny had a great time. She's currently at her warm up, but don't worry, her performance isn't for another hour, so you've got plenty of time. I'll be happy to help you take her stuff to your car, but first, please sign my little pink sheet here so she's officially signed out from camp."

Pretty easy. There is just a non-spoken (actually, scratch that, it is totally spoken) rule that you under no circumstances let a parent take their kid's stuff before they sign the kid out. Because, once a parent has their kid's stuff, there really is no need for them to come back. So, if they leave with the kid's stuff, and don't sign your sheet first, why should they feel the need to come back to sign a stupid little paper.

Well, let's see, that stupid little paper, is like gold. The state of Michigan has the harshest summer camp rules of any of the 50 states. First things first, parent consent on EVERYTHING. You must get a parent to sign their camper out. The only way to get around this is either if a) someone else dropped the kid off and they are the same person picking the kid up, because this is considered assumed consent of the parent. Or, b) the parent signed a permission slip on the first day of camp giving permission for a specific person to pick up their child. But really, this isn't that hard to comprehend, now is it? We don't want any kidnappings or alleged kidnappings on our hands, do we? Do we really?

Another great BL saying, common sense isn't that common. Especially among a select group of the counseling staff.

Like counselor D. That's what I'll call her, and yes, I actually am mentally keeping up with which counselor I've labeled A, B, C, and D.

Counselor D and I had already been having issues. See counselor D was the type of counselor that thought it was cute or funny to let her girls do anything, but when it was any other kid in the unit, she'd be all over them for the smallest little thing. She was also, honestly, just purely lazy. She'd purposely wait to do her laundry at odd times, knowing that there would be no way for her to finish it and then another counselor would have to go in the laundry room and put her campers' clothes in the dryer, simply so they could put their own campers' stuff in the wash. We had been having little issues like this all summer.

And yes, if Pants reads this she is going to think this sounds like a counselor by the initials of M.S. But in Counselor D's defense, for the most part she was a good counselor. She just had her diva moments.

Counselor D was great at interjecting and interrupting the counseling staff and myself whenever she felt the need, but apparently doing this with parents was too much for her to manage. And why do I know this? Because she came into my hut on Final Sunday and looked at me and said "Tamara, almost all my girls are checked out. But oh yeah, I'm missing like three signatures. I'm sorry, I totally don't even know how that happened. But that's okay, right?"

No that's not okay! I was at the moment on the phone with my sister, who was in route to camp. We were going to spend the session break together. I remember very clearly, putting my head into the hand that wasn't holding the phone, and saying "Tiff, can you hang on a minute? Or, wait, this is going to take a while, can I call you back?"

I realized at this point, I needed to choose my words wisely. I looked at Counselor D. "No. THAT IS NOT OKAY. You have 12 campers in your cabin, so you're telling me three sets of parents left without signing. You do realize that that is 25% of your cabin, right?"

"Well, Tamara, I mean, they were like in a hurry. I couldn't exactly be rude and interrupt them, now could I?"

Oh my god. Had this girl lost her mind? Was she really getting the nerve up to get an attitude with me when she was the one that screwed up?

"Listen. If you don't get those three signatures, I am going to get my ass torn into by Heidi. And that is not happening today. And you know why it isn't happening today? Because you are going to look up where those kids are performing, you're going to get your butt over there, and you are going to get those signatures. And you know what else? If Heidi yells at me, I'm going to yell at you. And if you think Heidi is scary when she's pissed, just wait and see how scary I'm going to be when I'm pissed!"

"Ah! Tamara, I really don't need this right now!"

"Well, hey, I've done my job today. You're the one who did this to yourself. You can't honestly tell me you thought I'd actually be okay with you missing three signatures. So like I said, you'd better figure out where those kids and their parents are, and figure it out fast."

"But, like one of my campers is at Begian. That's like a mile away."

"You're right, it is about a mile away on foot. So I suggest you get on your bike, and pedal fast. I can run a mile in 10 minutes. You can probably ride your bike twice as fast as I can jog. So, if you pedal fast, you can make it to Begian in a whopping 5 minutes."

That little argument was over. Now, I thought she had sense enough to leave her signature sheet in her cabin, and have a UC cover her cabin for any parents who showed up while she was going around camp looking for parents. But of course, common sense wasn't exactly her strongest point. When I thought to go check her cabin, of course, there were like three sets of parents waiting, wondering where in the world she and their daughters were. Ahhh!!!!! I pulled my very capable UC 1 into the cabin with a new signout sheet, and left the duties of directing traffic to UC 2.

So half an hour had past and Counselor D was still gone. Things had quieted down in the unit, and since the other counselors were on duty until all their parents showed up, I asked UC 2 if she wouldn't mind taking lunch orders and going in to town to get everyone lunch. UC 2 was happiest when she didn't really have to work, so she was greatful for the job. When she asked me what we should get Counselor D for lunch, I realized that Counselor D was still gone. Oh for the love of god! Was it so much to ask for to have a good, capable counselor?

Okay, new plan. "UC 2, can you go onto main camp and look for D? God only knows what the heck she is doing. I swear if any of those parents left already without her getting those signatures, I am going to kill her. I'll call one of the associates, and tell them if they see her to have her come back to the unit, asap."

UC left on her bike, to go find Counselor D. UC 2 was gone for about 10 minutes, when Counselor D showed up, wandering back into the unit, laughing and giggling with a new set of parents.

"Hey, D, where have you been?" I yelled out as I came walking out of my hut.

Instead of an answer, I get a shoulder shrug. And then a glare. And then "Not now Tamara, can't you see I'm busy with parents?"

"Well I hope you know UC 2 is on main camp as we speak looking for you. When she comes back, you should appologize to her for making her waste half an hour looking for you!"

Counselor D simply walked away. See, at this point, I really don't think anyone could have blamed me if I went and slapped her.

As a side note, I did go back into Counselor D's cabin a little while later, just as I had with all my other cabins, to see how the check out process was going. And what did I find when I went in? A camper, Mary actually, on her cell phone. In front of Counselor D. Yes, one of the biggest rules at camp is that campers under no circumstances are allowed to have cell phones. And here a camper was, in front of her counselor on her cell phone.

"Counselor D. This is absolutely ridiculous. Have her get off that phone now. And then bring it to me. I don't care if her parents will be here in 10 minutes. The phone belongs to me until they get here."

I wheeled out the door, in a good dramatic fashion, just to let her know I was pissed. What was this girl's problem today? Had she been drinking, or snorting something? I mean honestly!

At that point, the phone rang. It was a sweet distraction. I thought it would be my sister, but the one rang told me it was an on-camp call.

"Promenade, this is Tamara."
"Tamara, It's Nathan."
"Nathan, oh my god, I am going to kill D!!! I swear, I'm going to kill her!"
"Uh huh, remember what you and Holly told me last summer, save it for the Meijer parking lot."
"I know, I know, you can't get fired in the Meijer parking lot. So what's up?"
"Are you sure you don't want to come to Houghton Lake? It'd be so much fun if you came, and plus, you know Robin would love to have another girl there."
"Nathan, you know I would if Tiffany wasn't coming. But I've already spent a session break in that broke down cottage of Thad's, and I'm not giving up me and my sis's reservations at the Holiday Inn for that."
"Well, I know, but your sister is leaving tomorrow afternoon. That's plenty of time for you to drive up and meet us."
"Nathan, it's like almost four hours to Houghton Lake! And you know their are no interstates from here to there. I'd have to take all those broke down state roads, and last time even with Sarah, Bethany, Holly, and Jess, we got lost like 5 times on the way there."
"Well, it was worth a try. Besides, you could stay for free, we'll have tons of beer, and Mike is coming! You could get to know Mike."
"Um, I don't want to get to know Mike, and I don't like beer. And you know that."
"Yeah, Tam-tam, work with me here. Really, I just want you up here so we'll have a forth for Euchre. But if I can't persuade you, I can't persuade you. Well, if I don't see you before we leave, have a good session break with your sister. And don't kill counselor D. It'd be great in the moment, but is she really worth you spending years in jail? I think not. Bye Tam."
"Bye Nathan."

Talking to Nathan at least calmed me down for the time being. It wasn't too long after that and Tiffany arrived. As soon as my counselors had all their kids signed out, I was a free woman!

******

Next up, part two of this post. This just got a little too long for one posting.