So yesterday I came up with this grand scheme of plotting out my day, hour by hour. Perhaps not so surprisingly, the day didn't quite work out so ordered, but I was actually able to get off my duff and be somewhat productive today. I worked a very quite, mild morning for an Art teacher I subbed for a week or two ago. Since it was only a half day, I planned on getting some things done in the afternoon here at home. Of course, my mother had other plans for me and decided that "we" were going to go grocery shopping at Walmart. Okay, that was fine and dandy seeing as we really were running low on things, but my mom can turn this in to a very long event. On the way to the store, she went on and on about the next door neighbor's caretaker. I am pretty sure I have mentioned my mom's ongoing feud with the next door neighbor and his "housesitter/grassmower" caretaker, that my parents have affectionately named "Groundskeeper Willy." (I would look back in my archives and check this and/or provide a link, but I'm a bit lazy.) My mom has now decided that due to seeing Groundskeeper Willy leave the house at strange hours of the night, he must be secretly storing drugs at the neighbor's house. Yeah, I know, I know. I don't even need to hear your giggles to know my mom is insane. Anyhow, the whole trip to Walmart was my mother going on and on about her new suspicions, and vindictively laughing about the fact that if cops found drugs, they'd seize our neighbors' property and keep it forever. That was the longest ten minute drive to Walmart of my life, let me tell you! I know I said this before, but I really wish my mother had come with a mute button!
Anyhow, we did the whole shopping thing. We got there around 2pm and didn't leave until a quarter to 4pm. Most of this involved aisle after aisle of my mother audibly cursing that they had every but what she was looking for, only for me to grab exactly what she wanted and putting it in the cart. I am not exaggerating when I say it seems like every time my mother takes a grocery trip, she ends up bringing home something completely wrong because she didn't bother to read the label. When we were finally ready to leave (with a pit stop to pick out curtain rods for her fugly new curtains, a new saucepan, and lamp oil) she became that annoying person who talks the cashier's ear off, thus making everyone behind them wait much longer than they need to. She thinks I am rude because I politely say "Hello" and don't speak again until saying "Thank you." Seriously, what more is there to say? This is a complete stranger, and I don't need to back the line up by telling them my entire life story.
Sigh. Maybe I should just call my blog "Adventures of Living with My Mother."
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What is it with old women and Dancing With the Stars? I'm sorry to offend anyone who is a fan of the show, but the whole thing just seems so... cheesetastic to me. All the women in choir on Monday were going on and on about it. I kept hearing comments like "Oh, I hope my husband remembered to record it for me!" and responses like "Oh you poor dear, having to rely on your husband. I have Tivo." I just don't get it. I saw a clip from the show where Marie Osmond was dressed like a baby doll, and I laughed when a judge told her she looked like the "Bride of Chucky." My gramma is a huge fan (I suspect if my grandfather was still alive he would refuse to give up the remote to her to let her watch it) and she goes on and on to anyone who will listen about it. Apparently she went on and on to my mother about Marie Osmond looking "so cute" this morning. When I got home my mom greeted me with "You will not believe what your gramma told me! Marie Osmond had enough nerve to go on national TV dressed like a f***ing doll!" (I never said tact was one of my mother's strong points.) I am a fan of reality tv and some other guilty pleasures *coughGossipGirlcough*, but I have to say, this show looks even too cheesy for me. To each their own, I suppose.
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Speaking of reality TV, I've got a date with America's Next Top Model.
| Your Christmas Song Is |
 Sleigh Ride Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling "You Hoo" Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you Sure, Christmas is great But you just enjoy the long winter break! |
2 comments:
I like to watch occassionally but not on a regular basis. I thought it was hoakie at first but now I think it is pretty cool. Makes me want to dance!
I hear ya on the older women watching Dancing With the Stars! All my coworkers {well the ones over forty five} talk about the show. And I am constantly hearing from my dad "Did you watch Dancing With the Stars?" Grr!
I did happen to catch the finale, but I certainly don't watch it on a regular basis. It's just as annoying to me as American Idol. They saturate the viewers with it so much, and then keep you waiting forever to see who gets voted off. That's why I won't watch. :P
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