Changes...

Have you ever sat down and thought to yourself, how do I change my life? What changes have I already made, and in what ways would I still like to make a change? I've been having these thoughts quite often. There are some obvious changes I'm very anxious to make. Such as, I'd really like to not be living at my parent's house right now. I realize that I can afford my own apartment, but I would really like to have a roommate. Not only would splitting the rent be great (it would actually allow me to save some of my money versus spending it all on bills), but I would also like the security of having someone live with me. I've finally got my best friend on this page with me, but she is just not quite ready to move out of her parents' home yet. So that is a change in the works, just not quite a reality yet.

Okay other changes! Career change. Or what about career starting? Subbing, is not exactly what I want to describe as being a career. A way to make ends meet, I suppose. I need to email advisers in Education at UMF today, to see about applying for next semester. Oh, I'm starting to realize the world is becoming my oyster! Which is as equally as scary as it is exciting. I keep getting invites to apply for various grad programs. CMU sent me a letter saying I was a great candidate for their MSA program in health science administration. I keep getting invites from UMF to apply for the MAC program, which is an accelerated masters in education. Oh the choices! You know, the ironic part of life is that my parents worked hard, and sent me to college so that I would have choices for life that they didn't have. Sometimes I feel like their are too many choices, to the point where it becomes overwhelming. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to figure it out all out.

A couple of days ago I got two emails. One was from the MS society, sending me an application to apply to be on the walk committee. Which is a big deal to me, because I spent so much time raising money for the MS walks, and volunteering my time last year. What a cool opportunity to be of service! Somehow I find myself hesitating to turn in the application, because honestly, it's a little scary thinking of meeting all these new people and undertaking what could be a huge job. I'm not sure I want to handle all of that responsibility right now! I feel like I'm being bit of a whiny baby about it.

My second email was from one of my bosses at Blue Lake, Adrian. He sent me this email, telling me that "they" (being my bosses) were yet again very impressed with the hard work I did all summer, and that "they" feel like I have invaluable experience in whatever "leadership" role I undertake. He then went on to say he wasn't looking for a commitment for next summer at this point, but he'd like to get the opportunity to talk to me about next summer, and that "they" would like to get key leadership roles filled before the holidays. Um, okay. This sounds like to me he's looking for a commitment, does it not? Ah. I am so not ready to consider this yet. This summer I learned a lot, but man at times it was simply painful. I need to give it thought before I talk to him, and I'll think he (or actually Jenn, who I assisted last summer) will be a little shocked by my laundry list of things that I think need to be addressed for next summer. I think my biggest shock last summer was that Jenn had been running the health lodge for so long, yet there were soooo many things that were very unorganized, and simply chaotic. On the flip side of that coin, there were things that were simply micromanaged to death. Such a strange experience that was! Ah.

So changes, they're great. Well, sometimes great, but mostly scary. I feel like right now it's kind of like rolling dice and sitting back and seeing how they land. This should be a very interesting month!