A Weight Off My Shoulders

I officially broke up with Scott tonight. It was a long time coming, but here it is, finally done. I'm hurt, but I've spent the last month and a half getting constantly hurt by his thoughtlessness, so I'm not crying over it tonight.

Sigh.

Long story short, we hardly talked anymore... he went on and on about having 18 hour days and never having time to even call him mom... talked to me last night online basically telling me how much he still loves me... and then a close friend told me not to trust him because he told her himself he had been dating someone else. Ha. AWESOME.

And I just got pissed off, and well, I was beyond pissed. Less than 24 hours ago you tell me you love me, and then I hear that you told a friend last week you were dating someone else? So I just lost my mind a bit and sent him at least 10 to 20 texts in a row telling him how I hate him in each and every way. Then I called him, got his voicemail, and went in to 5 minute rant about what a jerk he is.

Then he texted me back, saying he was so confused, and of course he loved me, and where was this coming from? And when I repeated what my friend said, he claimed he had no idea what she was talking about.

A little while later he called me, and I didn't really say much. He went on and on about how he cared about me, but seriously, did we ever say we were exclusively dating each other? I reminded him that it was he who told he wouldn't date anyone else, not the other way around. He side skirted that by finally admitting that he had been on a "few dates" with a "few girls" but it wasn't a big deal, it was nothing serious, that he loves me, and if we can't be together right now, what is a little harm in a few dates? And in future, if we get serious... blah blah blah. I stopped listening after a while.

He made it a point to say he loves me, he wasn't trying to hurt me, he doesn't care about anyone the way he cares about me, I'm the only person he wants to get serious about, and that I'm supposedly his best friend.

I finally told him it wasn't about me being angry, it was about me being hurt. And that if he thought he could date other people than I would, too. And I told him I wasn't putting myself out there anymore, because all he seemed to do was hurt me.

And then he said to please don't say things like that, because it makes his heart hurt, and I told him "Good. I hope it does."

And that... is that. Sorry, I didn't have anything else to blog about. And it's better to just get that out in the open versus answering a bunch of questions. I know this is a good thing, but yes, I'm utterly heartbroken. I can't believe I trusted him. And now you guys are finally completely in the loop in why I've been depressed and anxious lately.

Ha, and to think I was tired of being single! If only I had known...