What I Could Say Today...

Ah. Yes. The calm after the storm. On one hand, glad I made it out alive, but on the other hand, looking at the ruins around me, wondering if it can ever be the same again.

I could blog about how after I blogged last night, I was still really wound up... and I decided there was so much more I didn't get to say, so I wrote a sugar coated guilt trip and delivered it to Scott's facebook inbox, then posted on his wall that he needed to take the time to read what I had to say.

And I don't know, nor do I care if he replies to me, I don't need him to. I'm done. My heart hurts, but it's done.

I could also blog about how I had a great lunch with my friend Mary, who gave me a high five for dumping the "dead weight," and swears she's going to find me someone awesome. LOL. Sure. Mary is a lesbian, which has nothing to do with anything, except for the fact I sat there at lunch listening to her talk about her current girlfriend, and I suddenly envied her for dating women, because at least I can understand them.

And I could blog about how utterly pissed off I got when the vending machine didn't have orange soda... seriously all I wanted in life today was an orange Minute Maid, or an orange Crush, or an orange Faygo... something ORANGE, and screw the stupid vending machine for not having them! In case you're wondering, my foot still hurts from kicking the machine.

And I could blog about my professor looking at me strangely when he started his powerpoint and I sighed... then he quietly snuck over to me at the end of class to ask me if I was okay... damn me wearing my heart on my sleeve and never being able to hide my feelings. He gave me an understanding smile when I said I was just really tired.

And I could blog about how I emailed  my boss/friend Jenn, and told her that if I do camp next summer, I plan to take the promotion my boss Heidi offered me, which means I wouldn't be her assistant in future, and I needed her to hear that from me before anyone else. And it doesn't change the fact that she is one of my best friends... I just gotta do what's right for me. And I also emailed Heidi and told her I was officially declining to return in the same postion, and wanted to talk with her more about the promotion she's offering me.

And I could also blog about how I almost cried over everyone's incredibly nice comments on my blog when I read them this morning... people I've never even met in life who are so caring... it's incredible.

I could blog about this, and it looks like I did.

The one cheesy thing that has gotten me through my day, is this song. Thank God for my iPod... I would literally cry if something happened to it. I've listened to this song repeatedly today... it has been my only source of comfort.