Bittersweet

So it has been a bit of a strange day. I subbed for 1st grade today, but it wasn't what I was expecting at all! Instead of having a day with one first grade class, I saw about five different first/second grade classes. The teachers in this building teach classes based on their own strengths... so that meant I taught the same reading lesson over and over again through the day. And I personally find that odd to make 1st graders switch from room to room through the day, how is that productive? You have to get them settled down each and every time they move... just seemed not worth it to me.

Anyhow, in the midst of this, I saw two of my kindergartners from last year. They both transferred schools... one little boy, Terrell, is the sweetest little guy in the world. The other child, Zamya, well, let's just say, she is a handful and a half! So that was interesting spending my day with kids I already know all too well. And, surprisingly, I met a new cousin... possibly two! In case I haven't mentioned it before, I don't have much of a relationship with my father's family. The family is quite large, with everyone having multiple children, so it seems. And everyone has children at early ages... like oh, 16. So yes, I have tons of cousins and children of cousins who I have never met in my life.

A little boy named Kenyon was shocked when I said my name, and went on to explain that his mom had the same last name as me. When I asked him what his mother's name was, he said the name of my first cousin. So I smiled and explained to him that his mom is my cousin, so that makes him my cousin, too. He smiled this bright smile, and then did the cutest thing ever. He put out his hand for me to shake it. :) It is such a bittersweet feeling when I meet family in this way. I was happy to meet another family member, but it made me sad to know that I know nothing about this little boy. I don't know what his middle name is, I don't know when his birthday is, I don't know what he likes to watch on tv. Sometimes I really resent my parents for my lack of relationship with my extended family. It can be so frustrating. Like, I always think to myself if I ever get married of course it would be a small event, because I just don't have a lot of family to invite.

Anyway, with those bittersweet feelings in mind, I posted about the humorous and cute encounter on Facebook. It was meant to be lighthearted, but then my friend Shannon's husband John decided to comment. Just a little background, Shannon is the sweetest girl and is very liberal and open minded, and then here comes her husband. John is from a small town right outside of Flint that is notorious for being a "sundown town." In case you don't know what a sundown town is, it is what we call a town that anyone who isn't white doesn't feel comfortable being in once it gets dark outside. As in, full of lots of ignorant and narrow-minded people who forget that they are in spitting distance of Flint.

Anyhow, he makes horrible racist jokes all the time. Constantly. And my friend group obviously is very diverse. So we are always very put-off and offended by his comments. Most of my friends are always too afraid to speak up to Shannon because they don't want to hurt her feelings. But then everyone will call or text each other about an event, and we'll say to each other "God, I hope Shannon doesn't bring John, he's such a jerk." And John seems to think we all love him, so he wants to tag along to everything.

So long story short, he decided to comment on my Facebook post by saying, "Aren't you all cousins?" As in, aren't all black people cousins? Aren't you all inbred? I had just had it. I was already having complicated feelings about my family and meeting this sweet little boy that I had never knew was a part of my family... and then John goes and says that. So yes, I chewed him out on my status, and then I in turn deleted his comment so he couldn't have the opportunity to offend any of my friends.

The rest of the day has followed with curious friends sending me messages about "What the hell did John say now to make you get so upset?" So I've had to explain it over and over again. He has been a coward and hasn't replied, as I've expected. I really didn't meant to make Shannon feel odd, but honestly, I'm so tired of dancing around the fact that we all dislike her husband. I doubt she'll even bring it up, but I feel like if she does I have to be honest. I can't sugar coat it anymore.

Sigh... I guess today is one of those days that isn't like Groundhog's Day after all.