Happy Dance, Part Two

This, as the title reflects, is part two of a long post. For the first half of this, please look below. Thank you. :)

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"So, tell me Tam, have you had some time to think about everything?" Heidi asked me in what sounded like an awkward tone. It was the same kind of tone my mom uses when she thinks it's her duty to ask you if you've had a bowel movement, or if you're on your period. "Yeah, yeah, I've definitely did a lot of thinking about it." I replied hesitantly. Why was it so hard for me to spit this out? Ahh! "So...well, let me just ask you, do you have any interest in this?" Heidi asked again in that strangely strained tone. "Well, yeah of course I do. I mean, you're right when you say with my background this would be a good position for me. I've thought about it a lot. I always felt like sooner or later the Health Lodge was my destiny, whether that meant you know, being on health staff, being the Assistant, or you know, breaking my leg or something." Now I found myself joking about all this. Great way to walk around actually giving an answer.

Heidi, while laughing at my joke, was not going to be sidetracked this easily. "Yeah, well, let's not say anything about breaking a leg again. From what I remember, random things happen to you on occasion. Like the time you got stung by a bee indoors. That was quite the accomplishment, Tamara. Well, hey! I'm really glad to hear you've thought about it and it's something that you at least show interest in. But I don't really want a full on decision, not quite yet anyhow." What was this? Now I could feel it. She was purposely putting my decision off, after sensing I was on the verge of finally spitting it out. Man. I got to hand it to her, she's good. But, while I may not be as good as her, yet, I at least realize when she's playing her game of chess. In my mind I was thinking "Alright, good deal good deal, but no checkmate just yet." Verbally, I just said "Oh, okay, so you don't want an answer yet?"

"No, not yet. I feel like you are owed at least the time to think things through, after seeing the dates you would be expected to be here, and your salary for the summer. But let's talk more about this, shall we?" Heidi was trying to keep my hanging on. It kind of reminded me of watching those movies where someone is standing on a ledge, and the police keep going on and on about if they can just "keep him talking" they'll get him off that ledge in no time. Well, I'm not exactly a ledge jumper, but her game was really starting to amuse me, so I decided to let her continue it. Besides, if she was trying to manipulate the situation, I should at least get the joy of watching her attempt to do it. At this point, my nerves were completely gone. "Yeah, sure, why not. Let's talk about this a little bit more." I said, smiling to myself. Suddenly it felt like the power in this conversation had shifted. It was no longer me, being afraid to speak my mind. It was suddenly Heidi coming off like a peddler, hoping I'd buy her hair dye, promising to turn my hair a lovely raven black. I was smart enough to realize these moments in life don't happen very often, so I should enjoy the moment of suddenly realizing that I had the upper hand.

"Hey Tamara, listen. I want you to know the thought of you possibly returning to camp pleases me. Believe me, I should know, when you find staff that are hardworking, you hold on to them. You have leadership skills that can't be taught. You're a fantastic leader, you're dedicated, you have a true understanding of the different functions of each part of the camp, and you have a working knowledge of how each of them work. You're focused, organized, and on top of it all, you're just a really pleasant person to be around." Heidi finished all of this in what seemed like one breath. "Wow, Heidi, thanks. I really take that as a huge compliment coming from you. But really, let's be honest, I'm not exactly the most organized person in the world. Lots of time my organization skills fall under the ideas of "if it's important, put it in this box... if it's not important, ah, whatever, burn it in the camp fire." I laughed, because it felt good to be completely honest about myself without feeling as though it would discredit her opinion of me. "Well, well, ha, perception is everything in this job. I'm not exactly the most organized person either, but you learn to be as organized as you need to be, and let the rest go, you know? You're organized where it counts, which is the best thing." Even if I had the upper hand, it was good to hear from Heidi that I'm not the only one with random faults, like searching for an hour for a slip of paper I was supposed to hold on to for two months.

"Honestly, this job is probably the most unique job on camp. You're the Assistant Health Director. Which is a title that isn't exactly the best way to describe the job. I mean, yes, part of your job is to assist Jenn. But it's not as if you're going to be taking her phone messages and being her personal secretary. There are going to be so many times when the two of you have a job that is interchangeable. When there are health issues on camp, you'll be dealing with just as much of the decision making as Jenn will. Now, she may get the harder to deal with stuff than you do, but believe me when I say that's a good thing, not a bad. Those are going to be those really odd moments. For instance, you'll be assisting her during orientation, getting the UDs and Bernie counselors certified in CPR and First Aid and everything. She'll be running the class, but as you remember in the past, when testing day comes, you'll be helping Jenn to run the practical exams. You'll be giving a nod on if this person can be passed, or if they need to be retested in CPR. But then on the flip side of that coin, during the summer. Health issues dealing with campers and parents, those are things you'll be dealing with without having to consult with Jenn. You'll talk to those parents, those campers, the Unit Directors, and then simply fill in Jenn and myself in later on the decision you made." Heidi finished, giving me a moment to process everything she had just said. She hadn't said much that I didn't already know about the job, but to hear it verbalized was something different. Any thoughts I had about Heidi or Jenn having any doubts in my abilities left me.

"Yeah. I mean, yeah I get what you're saying. There are times for sure when, in that job, you would have to get Jenn's guidance or advice, and times when you'd simply be following what she had laid out for you. But then there are those times, as a UD, like opening day. A million parents and children at my door with random health issues, medications, doctor's orders, questions, and when I would call the lodge, it didn't really matter who I talked to, Jenn or the Assistant...just so much as I got to talk to one of them. So yeah, in that case, I see how it would be interchangeable." I finished up. I wasn't really sure why I needed to reword what Heidi had just said to me, but I felt like it would be better than giving a simple "yeah" for an answer.

"Good. I'm glad you understand some of the uniqueness of this job. So, moving on, let me ask you, how would you feel working with someone like Jenn. I mean, as a UD, your unit is kind of like your own little kingdom...you decide the procedures, you decide what works best for you and your staff. In this job, there will be two heads working in that way. Is that something you would be okay with?" Heidi asked me. But she didn't just ask me. I can read between the lines. What she was really trying to say is "In the past the biggest challenge the Assistant has had is butting heads with Jenn on how things should go. Are you ready for that? Can you give in to her on occasion, and stand your ground at other times?" I smiled to myself at that question. I had to give it to her again, she was good. "Well, I think in this situation it would be really nice for the assistant to have someone with so much experience to offer them guidance." That was my polite way of saying, "Don't worry about me, you should know by now I can hold my ground. Jenn might not know that, but I do." Heidi immediately read between my lines, because she followed up with, "Well, you know. Jess B. did that job for two summers, and she did an excellent job. Jess, well, she knows the insides out of this job and Jenn...and seeing as Jess was your associate last summer....well I would hope that you would see her as a sounding board. That if you just need to you know, get stuff off your chest, that you would feel comfortable talking to her about you thoughts." Heidi was letting me know that, hey Jess wanted to rip Jenn's hair out on occasion too, so if you need a buddy to bitch too, Jess would be sympathetic.

"Hey, yeah, I love Jess B. She was my associate and all, my she's really a good friend to me. Our personalities mirror each other oddly. We get started on a topic and we'll talk for an hour about it. The ways we're alike we're really alike, and the ways we're different, we're super different, but that makes for a stronger friendship, in my opinion." If there was anything I felt confident in, it was that Jess would always be one of my strongest allies at camp. "Good, good. So, I think we've gotten to a good place in this talk. I feel very confident with you being the Assistant, and so does Jenn. We're very excited about it. Well, I guess I'm jumping the gun, huh? Let me rephrase that, we're very excited about the possibility of you in the position. Tamara, I don't say this very often to people. But... here it is. If you want the job, it's yours. Period. You are our first choice for this, and quite frankly you're the only choice for this. If we have to find someone else, of course we will, but you're the one we want. I think, we've been dancing around this long enough. We've been doing a good job of doing ballet around this...but I guess I've talked long enough. I want you to talk to Jenn some, if you have time, do you have time? But either way, can you tell me if you're leaning towards this, or leaning away from it? You don't need to give me a "yes" today, but it would be great to know which direction you're most likely going towards. If you are leaning away, I respect that. I might try to tempt you, but I'll respect it. If you're leaning towards it, well, I'll talk to the financial officer today about setting your salary."

The time had finally come to spit out my decision. I held my breath for a minute, and then slowly started. "Well, Heidi. Like I said before, I've given this a lot of thought. Truly I have. I went back and forth, trying to figure out if I wanted another summer at camp...and trying to figure out if this job was a good fit for me. But I made my decision last night, knowing that I might be swayed in a different direction today after our talk, but either way I just need to stick to my decision. And I can tell you... that... I am definitely leaning... towards... offer." Finally, it was off my chest. My decision went from my brain, to my lips, to Heidi's ears. How this was going to change me, I wasn't sure, but for better or for worse, it was out there. I just verbalized my intent to do one more summer, to leave behind a job that I am quite comfortable in and good at, and now I've expressed my intent to take on a new role. Oh boy!

"Awesome! Awesome! Great, great! I'm so, so glad. Okay, sweet! I'm going to put you on with Jenn, you have time to talk to her right? I'll put you on with her, you guys can chat, bounce some ideas off her, and I'm sure set up more time to talk...you guys will have a lot to talk about between now and May! I'll get started on looking up the salary for you today, okay? I owe you that." Heidi's voice could not hide her excitement, and it felt good to hear it from someone 'I've looked up to. "Okay great Heidi. Sounds good. And yeah, I've got time to talk with Jenn for a bit." I couldn't help smiling. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "Okay, well hey, we have some new phone system. So I might not be able to transfer you. If I hang up on you, I'm sorry! Oh hey, did I mention that you'll get your own voicemail on the camp line? See, perks already! Okay, hang on, I'll try to put you to Jenn." "Okay, bye Heidi." I sat on the line, hearing that phone music again, only now it wasn't so irritating, and I wasn't even concerned with what piece it was.

"Hey, this is Jenn, Tamara?" Jenn's voice came on the phone. She seemed glad to hear it was me. I knew she and Heidi must have discussed their game plan at approaching me prior to our phone conversation. "Hey Jenn, it's me. I was just talking to Heidi, and she thought I should get a few minutes to chat with you." I replied, pretending that I didn't realize that Jenn had probably been sitting there, simply waiting for Heidi to transfer me over to her. "Oh that's great. Glad to hear it! Hey, haha, haha, haha, sorry Tamara!" Jenn was laughing very hard, hardly being able to speak. "Um, it's okay. Did I say something funny?" I knew I hadn't said anything funny, but I couldn't figure out what why she was suddenly giggling.

"No, no. It's that Heidi thought it best to come in to my office just a second ago and do a happy dance in the door way. It was pretty funny, you should have seen it." Jenn said to me, laughing. "Oh, well, she must be really excited about figuring out how to transfer people on the phone, she seemed a little excited about new phones." I replied, slightly confused. "Oh, no. No, I don't think that's it. She's just been really dead set on you doing this. She was doing that happy dance because you're interested in doing this." Jenn said, with another laugh. "Oh and ha! Tamara, she heard me just now say this to you out in the hall. She peeked her head in here to double check that I was in fact, still talking to you, and now she's all red in the face from being embarrassed that you know about her happy dance." Jenn said, laughing even harder. "Well, wow. Tell her I'm honored. I got Heidi to do a happy dance in my honor." I said, laughing myself. This might just work out okay after all.

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As a follow up, Heidi emailed me today telling me what my salary would be. Let's just say, it's about double what I made last summer, and I was at top pay for counseling staff. It's more than I'd make in two and half months of subbing. Yea for big girl salaries! I haven't officially signed a contract yet, but things make their way around the Blue Lake grape vine pretty fast, and I've already had friends calling me telling me how excited they are for me. I'm excited, but more than anything I'm already ready to get down to business. Jenn is going to have the dictionary sized Health Lodge Procedures and Handbook shipped to me...and between studying for biochem, working, choir, etc, now I'll also be devoting time to going over the handbook in detail, ready to have constant discussions with her. After all, gotta be ready for May Weekend when I'll be lecturing the UDs about all the health procedures they and their staff will have to follow! And sometime in between all of this...Jenn is locating places near Flint where I can be certified as a first responder...because if I didn't have enough to do already, I'll have to find time to take first responder classes. Oy! But, I'm actually happy enough to do a little dance of my own.