Like 90210 Bad...

12:36 PM

I used to think my life was like a sitcom, but now I'm starting to think it's a melodrama. Not quite of the calibre of something like oh, I don't know, The Young and the Restless (because honestly, I think I've figured out that the characters on soaps are all in purgatory), but something more cheesy, along the lines of the new 90210. You know, nothing really all that spectacular, but you might be amused here and there, hoping that the drama finally gets good. In the end, you're always disappointed, because the drama never gets any better. And let's face it, drama, for the sake of drama, is not entertaining so much as it is annoying.

My drama is all self-created, at least recently. I'm feeling drama where school is concerned, but I'm not sure I have a reason to feel that way. I've been doing very well, so where is the stress coming in? Oh, I don't know... how about like yesterday? I obviously have a to-do list that is ridiculously long... and yet yesterday I did nothing. NOTHING. With exception to going to an extra class meeting that my professor set up for people to give presentations. (Which he didn't put a time limit on... seriously? Did I really just sit through a half hour ramble on why the US Women's Soccer team shouldn't use their boobs to sell tickets? Geez.) And of course, I was late to that. So, I accomplished nothing school related, and I was late to the one thing I did have to do. Great.

I'm creating drama where work is related, too. Ever since that run-in with that bitchy principal happened, I just haven't had the desire to sub anymore. I was already quite over it to begin with, but that just seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Which would be fine if I had another job lined up, or had a million dollars in the bank... neither of which I have. So, I need to work, and yet, I just... don't want to. I'm not a lazy person... I prefer having something to do... but I just openly hate my job. A lot.

There is still more drama. This time with my summer job, the good old always-waiting-for-me camp job. Last week I got a call from my boss Jenn, in which she went on and on about I'm the very first person they're contacting for next summer, and how she wanted to send me a contract... and blah blah blah. She asked me what I thought, and I gave her the response of "Sure. Okay, sounds fine."

But... I lied.

In fact, I wasn't sure about anything. In October, I really had to think about where my priorities were. Not that camp hasn't been a valuable experience for me, but I am willing to step away from it if and when need be. So the thought of getting rushed by Jenn in to signing a contract for June in December was just a little too much for me to deal with. I mulled over it for about a week, and I realized I was still no closer to making a decision, and thus, I'm not ready to sign a contract.

Instead of calling Jenn (who, by the way, will tell me whatever she thinks I want to hear, regardless of whether or not she can make it a reality), I skipped her and went to the top. I emailed my boss Heidi, and explained that I was incredibly hesitant. I explained that I wasn't saying no, but I wasn't saying yes. I also explained to her that my biggest issue is the fact that I'll still be in school during orientation, driving home for a few days at a time and then driving back to work is a huge stressor. (Yes, I would have to be here for a few days and then be at camp for a few days, and do this for a few weeks in June.)

Thankfully, she emailed me back promptly and was incredibly understanding, saying that she completely understood. Unlike Jenn, who was acting like my needing time for school was bending her out of shape a bit, Heidi said "how about this? How about we plan for the last week or two of your semester, you're not here. No driving back, you just won't be here. Period. If you find you are done with finals early, or whatnot, then great, we've got you for some bonus days we didn't plan for. And no, I haven't spoken to Jenn... yet, but I can make this work for you. No worries. And no one will be trying to talk you in to a contract just yet, there is no need. Give me your thoughts."

My thoughts are that I have an incredibly understanding boss... even if my other lower ranking boss isn't quite as understanding. Am I just creating drama where there doesn't need to be? I can literally hear the conversation right now between Heidi and Jenn... Heidi being very calm and Jenn doing her neurotic thing, thinking "Why is Tamara mad at me?" Ah. Drama with both of my jobs... drama with school.

Oh yes, and in case there wasn't enough drama, my mom has created more family drama. While she was talking with my sister on the phone, I clearly hear her say "Tamara says you've been texting while driving! I don't want to hear about that again, young lady!" Great... throw my name in to it. I made a comment to my father about my sister texting her husband while driving (I wasn't trying to tattle on her, I was simply discussing with my father how my sister's stupid decisions drive me nuts), and my mother of course overheard. Now, my sister is apparently pissed off at me for "tattling" on her, and my mother just added one more thing to my stress.

See... drama for drama's sake... there is no climax, no "Is Jimmy going to live?," and certainly no "Rachel is having Ross' baby?!?!?!"

Yeah. No humor, just stupid. Just me ranting. Now, I need to get a grip and do some schoolwork.