Crazy (Day) at Work

Wow, my latest blog yet! Man, I need to go to bed... but first, a blog.

So today (Monday) I subbed for a special ed math intervention teacher. Which basically meant in the morning I stepped in to a few classes to help answer questions if kids needed help, and in the afternoon I took small groups up to the intervention room to do a little more one on one work with some kids who are struggling in math. Sounds easy enough, right? Well actually it was... my schedule was great! Didn't step in to any classes until 9am (work started at 8:30am), had an hour and a half for lunch (a planning period was in there), and was done by 3pm (school lets out at 3:30pm). So yes, a good day. And stepping in to rooms means that the regular teacher is still in charge, so I'm not the one laying down the law with the kids. The small groups are very easy to handle as well, so yes, whenever I can get an intervention job, I snag it!

Well wouldn't you know it, the other special ed intervention teacher had a sub as well. Both of the teachers were in meetings, so this is why there were subs. So that meant I was sharing the intervention classroom space with another sub. Well okay, that's fair enough, no big deal, right?

Ha. Well it just so happens the other sub was a complete and utter nut! When I saw her in the hall, I knew that I knew her from somewhere, I just couldn't quite place her. Then when she walked in to the classroom, she introduced herself to me as "Mrs. Armstrong, cause my arms are strong!" Uh huh, right lady. Okay, well I hoped the kids would at least get a laugh out of that. Anyhoo, she then proceeds to spend the next half hour discussing why her sub assignment is wrong, and how she just bets mine is too, and no, mine couldn't possibly be for a full day, her's said full day but she believes it to only be a half day, and I'd better call admin and check. When I nicely said that I was sure about my assignment, she then decides to call and check on her own just one more time... in which I was surprised to see she had the school admin office on her cell phone list of contacts!

I mean usually you call the admin office once or twice a year if something goes wrong, but this lady had them on speed dial. Then after she got off the phone with them (the secretary told her to just ask the principal what needed to be done) she then goes on and on about how there is no key to lock the door, and how maybe one of the teachers we are subbing for will come back to check on things, in which they could give us a key! Or wait, she could just go down to the office and ask for her teacher's cell phone number, in which she could call her and ask her to drop off a key. Or even better yet, couldn't she have my number, so if she gets a key, she can call me and coordinate with me how to share the key for the entire day?

Oh good lord! I definitely didn't want the nutter having my phone number, so I nicely told her I didn't like to use my phone in front of the kids, and I was planning on carrying my tote bag with me. I really thought I had gotten rid of her, but everytime I got back to the classroom, there she was, twiddling her thumbs. "Planning the lessons" so to speak... even though the teachers had left in very simple instructions what they wanted us to do with the kids! She went on another random tangent with me prior to lunch about the fact that she drives the cutest ever Geo Metro, and that all her friends are sorry they made fun of her for buying it, because it gets the best gas mileage ever. Okay, sure lady, everyone is jealous of your Geo Metro!

Finally at the end of the day, I had sent my last group back to their classroom, and she was finishing up with a group. Her group looked like they were in about third or fourth grade. One of the little boys in her group told her that he was having problems reading because he broke his glasses yesterday, and his mom was taking him after school to get a new pair. This crazy nutter then goes on to tell him that he doesn't really need glasses, that reading glasses should do just fine. And then she tells him to go to the dollar store and try on different pair until he finds the right ones for him.

Yes seriously, she just told a kid to forego their eye exam for a pair of dollar store reading glasses instead. Then she looks at me and is like "Oh, you don't have a pair of glasses he could borrow, do you?" WTF! I just smiled and said "No, I wear contact lenses, and my glasses at home wouldn't be helpful to him, even if I did have them with me." I was slowly walking over to the closet to get my coat when she finishes up with "Well you know, when you get your own classroom (I told her five times already I'm not going in to education), it would be very helpful to stock up on different strengths of reading glasses, and then just keep them on a shelf for students when they need them." I thought she had seriously just lost her damn mind. Besides for the obvious reaction of that idea is crazy, let's look at the other fact that we were working with elementary students and not the elderly! Good lord!

I hurried and grabbed my coat and bag then, and told her to have a nice afternoon. As I was leaving the school it finally dawned on me where I knew this woman from! Last year, I subbed at a different school, and was supposed to sub a kindergarten room. The principal came out and begged me to switch to a fifth grade room instead. When I agreed, the principal said to me "good, the sub we have in the fifth grade we've had before, and honestly, the woman isn't working with a full deck. Those fifth graders will eat her alive, they can smell her crazy like wolves in search of prey. You'll be fine to handle them, but if I leave her in there, well... it would be bad." I was very shocked that a principal would openly call a sub crazy! When we walked in to the fifth grade room, it was no other than the crazy lady from today. And when the principal finally convinced her to take over the kindergarten class, the kids in the room said "That lady was crazy! We thought we'd be stuck with her all day!"

Ha... yes. Makes you wonder how some people keep their jobs.