Crap

Crap about sums up today.

At 2:00 am this morning I woke up dead out of my sleep because I was in incredible pain. Huge waves of abdominal pain crashed over me and started invading my dreams, until even my dreams were telling me this wasn't making sense. I woke up moaning in pain, and tried lying in bed, hoping the pain would go away. When the rational me realized the pain wasn't going away, I hobbled into the bathroom, already covered in sweat and trembling.

Well, I won't go into the details, but the pain was so great that it made me want to throw up, even though I didn't. I think this was a mild to moderate case of food poisoning, but I don't know for sure. It could have been the antibiotic for the bladder infection I had last week, only I finished that up on Saturday, so why would that just now mess up my system? More than likely I think it was the leftover Chinese I had for lunch yesterday. We ordered it on Friday and it had been in the fridge since then, and I microwaved it for 2 whole minutes on Monday. In between dropping my kids off in the cafeteria, going to the bathroom, writing a referral for "Charlie," and having a quick meeting with the principal, I literally only had time to eat standing up for about 3 minutes. Was that harmless lunch to blame for the overwhelming amount of agony I found myself in, in the wee hours of this morning?

Whatever it was, I don't know. But I think I expelled everything I've ate in the last three days out of my body in one hurried moment. Let's just say that between yesterday morning and this morning, the scale showed I had lost 3 lbs. That's not right at all. I'm pretty sure that was all lost water weight. For the rest of the day my stomach has been very temperamental, so I've been eating bland foods and hoping for the best. To top it off, I got my period today as well, so that was fun to deal with. I spent most of the day with a heating pad because I was afraid ibuprofen would kill my stomach. So needless to say, this day off felt like a waste, because I would have probably called in sick, anyhow.

I did go out and vote, and I managed to take a shower as well. And somehow I managed to visit my parents, too. Don't ask me why, but even with as crappy as I've felt and all that I did manage to do, I feel incredibly guilty for not working on my thesis. My thesis has become the thing I dread the most in life. It is never ending and doesn't seem to have a solution. I am tired and frustrated and out of steam. I feel like it is chaining me to all of my fears.

Anyhow, I'm planning on going to bed early so that I don't wake up to be a complete basket case. I have to find some reason to make it to work tomorrow. Hopefully I will have a peaceful sleep with no horrific pain tonight!